


ryan and stazzy's horrible newsies headcanons

by jumpinjazzcat



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Headcanon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27818515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumpinjazzcat/pseuds/jumpinjazzcat
Summary: my friend ryan and i came up with these horrible headcanons i hope u like them
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 35
Kudos: 40
Collections: newsies fics by me!





	1. horrible stinky headcanons

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so at first Ryan disagreed with me when I said that Jack is the mom. Ryan said, and I quote: "Nah, Davey is mom he has impulse control." but then I said "Davey is the tired former single father and Jack is the chaotic stepmom" and Ryan agreed. Here are our collective headcanons!

  * Racetrack is like, heartbreaker older brother
  * Crutchie and Les are chaotic younger sibling energy
  * Spot is rebellious bf to the pretty boy older brother racetrack who looks like a hard ass until his hand is being held and he just _melts_
  * Sarah is the cool older sister of the group. She always has band-aids ready, and she will kick _anyone_ 's ass
  * Les is literally always falling in love with Sarah's friends (ah, to be a young boy who has a crush on a much older girl) and Sarah always has to talk him out of it
  * Sometimes, Race will just...show up at Spot's place, and Spot has to let him stay because Spot is a big softie and he loves his boyfriend
  * Katherine used to write those Wattpad stories about being sold to One Direction
    * They were well-written.
  * Jack forces his friends to do a group costume with him on Halloween
  * Medda she got drunk at a party and when she sang it was like the Wendy Williams cover of Native New Yorker
  * Racetrack's favorite movie is Ratatouille 
  * Spot _really_ likes the Shrek 2 soundtrack, and Race gives him shit for it
    * But also, Race sings "Accidentally In Love" in the shower and Spot caught him once. He hasn't said anything because he doesn't want to embarrass Race, but he can and will use this information against him.
  * Medda lets the boys do small jobs around the theater because she knows they need money and sometimes no one wants to be the one to organize fuckin dancers shoes
  * Race has, on more than one occasion, stood in for some of the dancer's at the theater because they didn't show/he was the reason they couldn't go on. Medda approves of his dancing and singing skills
  * Spot dresses in like, all black almost 24/7 and rarely wears anything with like bright colors (ethereal bisexual who wears mostly black) but when he does wear any other color it is 100% bc Race made him wear something else
    * the only 2 pictures of him not in black are 1 from when he was a small child and the other is when he went to pride with Race for the first time
  * Even though there’s an age gap, Les and Crutchie joke that they’re the same person since they have the same sense of humor, like to pull the same pranks, and both have the best gimmicks to sell shit with
  * Jack frequently takes Davey on movie dates, but he purposely takes him to bad ones so that they can make out
  * it is an unspoken rule among all newsies, manhattan boys + Spot, that if something happens at home they go straight to the theater and Medda will no questions asked let them stay the night and take care of them
  * Denton homeschooled all of the newsies with Davey and Medda’s help.They read plays with Medda, did art with Jack, English with Denton and Kath, and Davey teaches all the little newsies to read and write
    * Only 2 newsies go to public school and they are les and romeo. Les bc Davey and Sarah forced him into it and Romeo bc he's oddly smart and also flirting purposes
  * Ryan and I think that Jack and Spot are both Irish (Kelly is a more Irish last name and Sean is an Irish first name) and they both know Gaelic (native irish language) but Jack knows more than Spot so sometimes they just kinda talk in English and Gaelic. Mostly in front of Racetrack bc he doesn't understand it
  * Denton became really good friends with Medda and Davey’s parents, and Denton always calls them when one of the newsies isn’t with him, because he knows that they’re either at the theater or hanging out at the Jacobs house.
  * Medda is the grandma. She makes cookies and lets them get away with things
  * Denton is their aunt, but he’s the caring, kinda strict aunt
  * Denton and Medda co-parent all of the boys bc Katherine and Sarah are usually good on their own but sometimes need help
  * One time, while staying at Denton's house for one reason or another, he walked into a lil' cuddle pile with a bunch of the boys just kinda piled on top of each other. He put a few blankets on top of the boys, took pictures, and walked out. Medda also has these pics bc denton sent them to her
  * The newsies watched Dead Poets Society and decided that:
    * Denton is Keaton
    * Davey is Todd (because Todd is an anxious mess)
    * Race and Romeo are both Knox
    * Spot is Charlie
    * Specs is Meeks
  * Hot Shot and Race are the only people allowed to call Spot short
    * No one knows why, it’s just a rule
  * Jack and Spot, along with the Irish thing, are the only 2 like fully Catholic members. Partially bc they are Irish and also bc the church and the sisters were always nice to them when they were little. They regularly go to church and help out. They don't talk about it but thats how they bonded
    * Also they think that Eve deserved better




	2. headcanons part two: electric boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh here's part two this was written in my english class  
> thank u ryan

  * Race gets cold as shit during the night and Spot always gives him all of the blankets
  * Race is always put in charge of making dinner
    * The newsies play songs, usually My Girl by the Temptations, and dance around the kitchen while he’s cooking
  * Spot and Race get waaaaaaaay to into movies when they see them in the theater. They usually go late at night when no one is there so that they can scream and throw things at the screen
  * Spot acts all responsible and mature but he eats Lucky Charms (Race gives him shit for it cuz Spot is Irish) and watches cartoons
  * Race can’t use chopsticks but Spot can because when he was little, he watched Big Bird In Japan with Denton and the show taught him to use them
  * Jack and Race constantly steal each other’s stuff just for shits and giggles
  * Jack cries at any movie with an animal as the main character because they usually die at the end
  * Davey is often hurt by Spot’s sarcasm, and Spot tries really hard to not be mean in a playful way around Davey. Davey knows that Spot isn’t being serious, but he still appreciates that Spot is more aware of it around him
  * Spot Conlon loves and adores children, even though he pretends that he doesn't
  * Jack likes gelato more than ice cream
  * Crutchie and Les bake cakes for the newsies on their birthdays, and they spend a lot of time making them really detailed
  * Denton takes them to Costco once a month, and they all get put into “teams” and the goal is to get the most items in the least amount of time
    * Spot, Race, Les, and Jack always team up and they always win
  * Spot and Race only call each other by their government names when they’re arguing
  * Jack paints portraits of all of his friends. They’re like those really fancy ones of like, George Washington, or something
  * When they go on road trips, Jack drives, Spot is in the passenger's seat (he’s the master navigator and he buys snacks for everyone), Davey and Les are backseat drivers, and Race sleeps in the back
  * Medda taught Les how to play piano, and the only song that he can play off the top of his head is Hey There Delilah because Jack used to play it so much that Les can play it by ear
  * Race kins Ferris Bueller
  * Davey hardly ever curses, but when he does it’s only ever “bullshit”
  * The reason that Spot’s nickname is Spot is because once, when they were really young, Race didn’t remember the word for freckles so he said “I like those spots on ya face” and it just….stuck
  * Sarah and Les run a meme page 
    * All of the captions make fun of Davey, and he’s started a whole investigation trying to find out who runs it. Sarah and Les are “helping” him solve the mystery
  * Crutchie is always the one to calm someone down after a nightmare
  * Race and Les have ADHD 
    * Everyone has to remind them to take their meds
  * Spot has a shit ton of those squishy animal plushies but everyone thinks that they’re Race’s
    * They all have names
  * Jack and Spot have trust issues that stem from anxiety 
    * Denton sent Jack to therapy because Jack couldn’t handle it for a while
  * Davey has OCD
  * Crutchie has hospital anxiety because he was in the hospital for a long ass time
  * Les and Crutchie have a shit ton of inside jokes
  * Race is double jointed and with that has semi-chronic pain bc his joints are low-key fucked
    * Crutchie helps him manage the pain when its bad
    * Only Jack, Crutchie, Denton, Spot, and Medda know about it because he’s insecure about it
  * Spot once walked into Denton's apartment looking pretty bad and someone goes "Spot you look like you just got hit by a car" and Spot responds "maybe it's because I did just get hit by a car" and then Denton has to take him to the ER bc wow, Spot really just walked off getting hit by a car
    * Spot acts like his injuries/illnesses are nothing so he could literally be on the floor about to pass out again and be like "nah I’m fine it's good"
    * Spot was one of those bitches in elementary school who was like "pinch me i don't feel pain"
  * Spot gets hurt the most but like, somehow Dave is the clumsiest and has broken several bones because of it 
    * Jack watched him trip, fall, and break his arm over literally nothing. They told everyone that Dave got into a fight with the Delanceys
  * Romeo isn't allowed to drive the car. Under any circumstance. He almost crashed the car once when Jack let him drive (in a parking lot when he was younger) and has failed his driving test several times since
    * Race isn’t allowed to drive either because he speeds
  * Jack is the biggest Disney princess movie fan. Him, Race, Crutchie, and Les know all of the words to every song and dance number. Spot and Davey know them bc of the others
    * Davey is into it but not as dramatically as the others and Spot only when drunk otherwise he just sits there and hums along to the songs
  * FUCKIN SPOT AND RACE ALWAYS DO COUPLES COSTUMES. EVEN BEFORE THEY WERE DATING. Jack is pissed off by it because he wants them to be parts of group costumes
  * Race owns skirts
  * So does Romeo
  * Race also has a maid outfit, with the cat ears and the choker
  * Spot and Les love true crime. Their favorite case is the Lizzie Borden case
  * Denton bought like, a huge ass apartment and most of the newsies (besides the Jacobses) live there
  * They have bunk beds



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i....  
> we have so many more this is a lot


	3. headcanons part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh this is mostly denton-centric

  * If ur good at English ur gay. Bryan Denton is good at english. this means that he is gay. in this essay I will-
  * the boys try to set him up on dates with like, random ass men sometimes
  * before he came out they tried to get him and Medda together
  * Medda knew he was gay but she didn't say anything, the boys guilted him into a date with her and while there he came out to her and she was like "its okay honey" and was vv motherly to him
    * he cried
  * he accidentally comes out to Crutchie and Les
  * they baked this huge rainbow cake that said “DENTON IS GAY”
  * and that's when Race and Spot came out
  * Jack and Dave never come out they just start dating and everyone’s like “ok”
  * also Medda is in cahoots with the boys she tries to set Denton up on dates as well
  * she introduces him to dancers at the theater and they’re too confident for him yk? They're nice but they're too extroverted
  * Denton falls in love with some guy he sees at a coffee shop
  * And the boys r like “talk to him!!!” but he never does so Jack just tells the guy that Denton thinks he’s cute
  * other guy panics and Jack gives him a napkin with Denton's number on it
  * Denton gets a text and is like, “who did you give my number to?”
  * Jack goes "THE CUTE GUY FROM THE COFFEE SHOP THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH"
  * Specs did a fucking background check on the guy
  * I mean really fucking stalked him
  * Just to make sure that Denton wasn't gonna get murdered
  * The guy's name is Hugh and Jack is a fucking art kid so he's like "lol hue"
  * Spot and Jack give Hugh the talk that's like "don't break his heart or else we’ll break you"
  * But this Hugh is tall af so they both gotta look up a lil bit (a lot a bit in Spot's case)
  * Hugh makes the mistake of calling Spot short
  * and Denton doesn’t talk to Hugh for a week because Spot is angry at him
  * Jack literally had to hold Spot back because he was gonna hit Hugh
  * Hugh comes back with like, food for the boys and apologizes to Spot bc he literally felt so bad
  * Hot Shot has a huge ass family and everyone thinks that he’s in the mafia
  * Race, Albert, and Hot Shot are very very Italian
  * Since Spot and Jack speak in Gaelic, Hot Shot, Al, and Race speak Italian just to fuck with them
  * Spot takes Italian classes and one day he just joins their convo
  * he over hears them talking shit about the Delanceys or some shit and hes like "yeah fuck them" and they get scared because when the fuck did spot learn italian
  * Les and Crutchie learned ASL so they could talk shit
  * Denton knows too bc he wanted to be able to talk to someone he knew in like college or something
  * So Denton walks past and sees Les sign a curse word and he says "Hey!" and they look at him and he signs “no cursing guys”
  * They get Denton to join in on talking shit in ASL



  
  



	4. WHY DO WE KEEP COMING UP WITH THESE PLEASE MAKE US STOP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry

  * Hot Shot is ftm 
    * Les is saving up money to pay for Hot Shot's surgery
    * Because Les is best boy
    * He does odd jobs for Medda at the theater
    * And makes bets so he can make money
  * Albert and Specs are suuuuuper affectionate with each other and everyone thinks that they're gay 
    * But they're not
    * They're just homies
  * Les has a crush on Jack 
    * And Davey is jealous lowkey
    * All three of the Jacobs kids have had crushes on Jack at some point
  * Kath threw a printer at her teacher once 
    * Idk why she just....did
    * good for her tbh
  * Les and Crutchie like Craig of the Creek
  * Davey is obsessed with film theory and he could talk about it for hours
  * Denton made the boys read the Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Jack is convinced that Huck and Tom were gay 
    * He wrote a whole essay about it
    * It was good
  * Specs really likes Bill Nye 
    * He's super good at science
    * Al is not
  * Hot Shot and Les get along really well 
    * To the point where sometimes if Les is hanging out with Hot Shot, Hot Shot's mom literally thinks that Les is one of her kids
    * Like,,,,,Les is Harry Potter in this situation
  * Spot lives with Denton even though he has a family because he hates his parents 
    * Denton doesn't mind because Spot keeps Alfred and Race in line
  * Les still calls Medda "Miss Medda" even though she's told him about a million times that he doesn't have to
  * Jack has really great manners 
    * At least he does for strangers and parents
    * Davey is literally shocked by it every time
  * Romeo really loves Encyclopedia Brown
  * Specs hates his glasses but he refuses to wear contacts because he's scared of touching his eyes
  * Alfred really loves "Romeo et Juliette" (the musical) (watch it)
  * Les likes the Origami Yoda books and he leaves little origami Ewoks everywhere
  * Race buys those really specific Facebook Market t-shirts 
    * His faves are "say no to DRUGS, say yes to WATER CHESTNUTS," and "I AM A GRUMPY OLD MAN, I WAS BORN IN AUGUST 16TH, I'M TOO OLD TO FIGHT, TOO SLOW TO RUN. I'LL JUST SHOOT YOU AND BE DONE WITH IT."
  * Les and Crutchie made a fanpage for Jack on Instagram 
    * Sarah helps them make fancams
  * Jack's entire Spotify wrapped is showtunes 
    * And riot grrrl music
  * Specs has really good handwriting 
    * Jack does not
    * It's sad
  * Davey can't handle even the slightest bit of spice 
    * He ate a Taki once and he cried




	5. music tastes cuz we can

  * Davey is a Mitski fan and has sung lonesome love to himself multiple times
  * Jack listens to indie music (like Rex Orange County and other popular indie artists)
  * Les likes kpop change my mind 
    * You can't
    * His Twice bias is Sana
  * Romeo listens to showtunes and that's it
  * Al's taste in music is that of a white dad
  * Race likes pop punk, 80's rock, riot grrrl music, and early 00's pop 
    * If he had his way, he'd dress punk but since the punk style has been gentrified he just thrifts & dresses grunge
    * Boy does have a battle jacket
    * Race's prized possession is his battle jacket bc him, spot, jack and Crutchie all made it together
  * Denton likes Sinatra, Eartha Kitt, and Ella Fitzgerald 
    * But also the Beatles because he's a dad basically
  * Medda really likes jazz 
    * She listens to a lot of jazz but also a very large mix of r&b too

    * My girly got a shit ton of good ass gospel, r&b, jazz, and disco music
  * Spot listens to sad indie boy shit and also Beach Bunny 
    * Also Tall Boy Special (please stream Fictional Aisle)
  * Kath and Sarah listen to Bisexual Music™ and Mitski with a healthy mix of ska 
    * Also Sarah listens to No Doubt and Blondie cuz she is That Bitch™
  * Crutchie listens to Sea Shanties 
    * So does Specs
  * Hot Shot really likes Japanese music/other music in languages he can't understand, but also really likes Sinatra (cuz Hot Shot is italian so like,,,,,,,,,yk?). His music taste is a mess
  * Spot always has to do covers of indie artist's songs bc a lot of them end up being problematic 
    * Like he had to cover all of Mccafferty's album, Beachboy, after they found out that Nick was a bad person
    * Spot swears on his life that if Beach Bunny ends up being problematic, he'll never listen to music again



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA WE'RE BACK  
> also the next chapter will mostly focus on my OC's, Hugh and Julie, so


	6. personality types and headcanons mostly abt the oc's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for context you should read Bryan Denton and The Horrible Decision To Take Care Of Teenage Boys

  * Jack is ENFJ or ISFP
  * Davey is INTJ
  * Race is ESFP
  * Spot is ESTJ
  * Les is ESFJ
  * Specs is ESTP
  * Al is ISTP
  * Sarah is ESFP
  * Kath is ESTJ
  * Hot Shot is INTP
  * Medda is ESFP
  * Denton is INFP
  * Julie is just super cool 
    * She's a practicing witch and Romeo brings her stuff for spells
    * She's a kitchen witch and a water witch (she's landlocked, though, cuz NYC)
  * She's not afraid of anything 
    * Her house is probably haunted, but she's, like, friends with the ghosts
    * When she was a kid, her parents were freaked out because she'd "talk to the demon under her bed" and she was friends with it
  * Her parents are also witches, and there's crystals all over their house 
    * Once a month, she has to stay over at Denton's with Romeo because her parents cleanse the house and they need everyone out
  * She's the third child out of five 
    * Elmer is 19
    * Finch is a 18
    * Mike & Ike are 14
    * Smalls is 10 (he's really good friends with Les and they're in the same class)
  * When Julie was introduced to Kath & Sarah, she became friends with them right away 
    * She calls Kath "Kitty" and she calls Sarah "Sare-Bear"
  * They have a group chat called "The Powerpuff Girls" 
    * Kath is Blossom
    * Julie is Buttercup
    * Sarah is Bubbles
  * The three of them hang out all the time, they usually go over to Sarah's to have sleepovers 
    * Since Julie is a little younger than them (Kath is 21, Sarah is 19), they let her use their old school notes and help her study
  * Julie's in a band called The Iguanas (idk why I'll get to it later) that she started with her friends 
    * She, Jojo, Tommy Boy, and Blink are friends from school so the band started out as their idea but Sarah joined the band
    * Julie's the lead singer but she plays lead guitar sometimes
    * Tommy Boy is the drummer
    * Jojo is the lead guitarist
    * Sarah plays bass
    * Blink plays rhythm guitar but also sometimes the keyboard
  * They've released a few singles, and one album 
    * They play at house parties, mostly, but Jack works at a coffee shop and they play there on open mic nights
  * Julie paints her nails once a month, and when she and Romeo start dating, she paints his nails to match hers
  * Hugh's is a radio host, and he sometimes plays The Iguanas songs 
  * Julie offered to pay him for the free promo, but he refused
  * He's also a writer on the side, and he and Jack start working on a graphic novel together
  * Denton and Hugh are writing a book together, and they go to this one publisher
  * It's Pulitzer
  * Weasel is his secretary or smth idk and he says "oh yeah I'll talk to him about it" because Hugh and Denton pitch the idea to Weasel because Pulitzer is busy the day that they go
  * Weasel doesn't talk to Pulitzer about it
  * Hugh and Denton find out and the boys start a strike so nobody uses Pulitzer as a publisher anymore
  * Pulitzer is still Kath's dad but she lived with her mom before she moved out
  * Hugh gets really giggly when he's drunk
  * He's extremely organized
  * Denton is not
  * Hugh was also a foster kid growing up, so he relates to the boys
  * Bryan technically isn't the boy's dad, legally, because they just kinda...moved in
  * He was planning to adopt Jack, but Jack was gonna turn 18 soon anyway so it was kinda pointless
  * Jack is 21
  * Davey is 19
  * I just realized that I never established how old anyone is so 
    * Race, Al, Specs and Spot are 17, they're seniors in high school (well they would be but like, they're home schooled so they're just learning the 12th-grade level stuff)
    * Romeo and Julie are 16, they're juniors
    * Crutchie is 13
    * Les is 10
    * Hot Shot is also 19, he's taking a gap year and he's going to NYU next year
    * Medda is like, thirty-something, maybe early forties, but she looks younger, like around 20, so whenever she and Jack go out, people think that she's his sister
    * Bryan's age remains a mystery but he's probably around 35
  * Jack and Medda go out to lunch every weekend
  * Hannah is Hot Shot's therapist, but when she was younger she and Medda used to own the theater together
  * Hugh is secretly mega-rich and nobody knew that until he invited Denton and the boys over for dinner and they were like "dude your apartment is huge"



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm writing this so i can use them as plot devices in my fics tbh but also they're fun


End file.
